By: Nancy Ogden Justice
An Announcement from the Interior Department of Hardwareland People
TAKE CAREFUL NOTE
It is vitally important not to disturb the Hardwareland People!
The Hardwareland people must be allowed, on any day they choose, to buy as much hardware as they can carry home.
It is critical that everyone keep in mind that our entire economy, our system of government and our most basic social stability is dependent on the Hardwareland People!
Should you spot a Hardwareland Person outside Hardwareland it is a compelling necessity to preserve their peace of mind.
Speak soothingly and provide clear and concise instructions with diagram if necessary, pointing out the easiest, most stress free, fastest route back to Hardwareland.
Escort if required but do so under pretext.
Under no circumstances are you to alarm a Hardwareland Person or disabuse them of their right to hardware.