What's Fair is Fair

by Jerry Vilhotti

“Cheat? What do you mean, cheat?” Nike said feeling a little threatened that she was having to do with instilling in these particular mortals the idea that any means to victory was justified. Oh, how she loved the deviousness of it all and at least more than half of "What's in it for me" politicians were doing so up the noses of voters!

“Yes, I remember one day at the house that Thunderbolt the tree-limb swinger built and all I was doing was betting on bunts — that is when the skill was still able to be done — whether the ball would stay fair or go foul and only after losing to Ares constantly with me always betting the ball would go foul but instead I noticed after eight rounds the first and third base lines had been banked up giving the Amsterdam Yangees a big advantage because they had three excellent bunters who ran like me!” Hermes said.

“There is something to that. Did you know some teams tell their ground crew people not to cut the infield grass so giving their wing-footed runners that little extra time to beat out bunts?” Poseidon said; making all the Greek gods in their box seats high in the sky turn their attention to him.

“And what about teams who have mostly, I think they call them ‘dink-hitters’ and make their fences nearly out of sight so creating spacious areas in which their balls may fall safely and at the same time frustrate their opponents’ four hundred and fifty-foot whacks to be caught on warning tracks? Not to mention the little league green monster sucking up little pop up Homers and pellet mound hurlers afraid to throw to first sack at the thief who is trying to steal the second wheat pillow because he's afraid he's going to kill him in the head and get arrested by the trump police” Thalia said excitedly.

“Hey, all you without native intelligence, what about those teams loaded with sinister-handed pull hitters? They all have right field fences not much further than three hundred feet away!” Hephaestus said firing out his words in all directions like little round pellets.

“Hey, who said life had to be fair? Who said that thing playing itself out on what once was virgin forest has to be fair too? It’s only a game, for Zeus’ sake!” Nike said, afraid that if all these little hills were subtracted, making for level playing fields, all would definitely affect her victories. Her precious bottom-line sacred victories. Hey, wasn’t that what it was all about? she thought looking off while squeezing her shoulders in a coquettish way.